No easy option; when either route means some pain for both protagonist.
So, when you love, respect, admire and look
up to someone, you desire most of all that they will continue to conduct
themselves in a way which maintains your feeling of pride and admiration for
them.
You desire that they will act magnanimously
in, no, not everything they do, as that would not be realistic or practicable,
but in many of the things they do, especially those that matters so much to
you..
And, unexpectedly, they say or does
something which causes you wonder about them. Are they really the person you
have come to know and have known? Are there aspects or personas of them which
you do not know, and, probably, would not want to know, because it would make
you so sad? Make you so disappointed as to not only come close to losing your
faith in humanity, but in them?
And so you continue to wonder, why is their
position so diametrically opposed to yours? Why does it seem so cut and dried,
as it were, to them, that they are not even proposing any mid-way compromises,
but just projecting an ultimatum on to you? An ultimatum which, with your diametrically opposed
position, can only be met with an ultimatum of your own?.
And what are the common factors at work
here? That the two people take opposing
positions, based on their perceptions
that they are justified in taking the positions they take, and that it is
the other person who is wrong, in the
position he/she has taken; that they are unreasonable
and unfair, and the feeling of a
great injustice being done to them, and an acute sense of hurt.
There are times in our living when we might
feel the need to take a position which we feel we must take, sometimes at
whatever price we might have to pay. These are the loneliest of the decisions
we are likely to have to make, and probably the most painful.
Whenever you find yourself having to make a
decision which is near diametrically opposed to the decision somebody you hold
dear, has or would have make, try to imagine that neither of you are wrong or
right, fair or unfair. You just feel what you feel very strongly, and it is one of those things
which has to be decided on the basis of feelings, and not logic.
Staying calm, cool and collected might not get you your own way, but it might avoid you having to give a thousand apologies later.
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