Sunday, 14 August 2016

A THOUGHT FOR NOW - WHEN SOMEONE YOU ADMIRE 'CAUSES' YOU TO THINK LESS OF THEM!







No easy option; when either route means some pain for both protagonist.



So, when you love, respect, admire and look up to someone, you desire most of all that they will continue to conduct themselves in a way which maintains your feeling of pride and admiration for them.

You desire that they will act magnanimously in, no, not everything they do, as that would not be realistic or practicable, but in many of the things they do, especially those that matters so much to you..
And, unexpectedly, they say or does something which causes you wonder about them. Are they really the person you have come to know and have known? Are there aspects or personas of them which you do not know, and, probably, would not want to know, because it would make you so sad? Make you so disappointed as to not only come close to losing your faith in humanity, but in them?

And so you continue to wonder, why is their position so diametrically opposed to yours? Why does it seem so cut and dried, as it were, to them, that they are not even proposing any mid-way compromises, but just projecting an ultimatum on to you? An ultimatum  which, with your diametrically opposed position, can only be met with an ultimatum of your own?.

And what are the common factors at work here? That the two people take opposing positions, based on their perceptions that they are justified in taking the positions they take, and that it is the other person who is wrong, in the position he/she has taken; that they are unreasonable and unfair, and the feeling of a great injustice being done to them, and an acute sense of hurt.

There are times in our living when we might feel the need to take a position which we feel we must take, sometimes at whatever price we might have to pay. These are the loneliest of the decisions we are likely to have to make, and probably the most painful.

Whenever you find yourself having to make a decision which is near diametrically opposed to the decision somebody you hold dear, has or would have make, try to imagine that neither of you are wrong or right, fair or unfair. You just feel what you feel very strongly, and it is one of those things which has to be decided on the basis of feelings, and not logic.



Staying calm, cool and collected might not get you your own way, but it might avoid you having to give a thousand apologies later.










No comments: