JUST PHILOSOPHING ON : SOME OF WHAT I HAVE LEARNT FROM LIFE! PART 10.

 

In my case, I have learnt that the pain and loss of a broken intimate relationship can be brought to an end, by establishing another relationship and work towards it being successful. 

Yes, it does not mean that the pain will not continue to linger on for sometime, but sometime is better than all the time or most of the time. 

I would argue that, just as how the past needs to gradually recede into the distant past, so that the present can take root and be nurtured into giving birth to the future. 

So must a relationship which has ended, be allowed and encouraged to lose its primacy, the amount of conscious and subconscious space and time it occupies in parties lives/living. 

This creates the necessary conditions for each of the primary persons - partners and any children - to make the changes and adjustments to building the different lives they need to establish. 

To have new and different structures and functions in their living. 

I have learnt that, the sooner we - and probably most if not all people in the world have suffered and will suffer losses in their lifetime -  place ourselves in the position of finding and healthily attaching to new persons  and/or objects of  mutual attachment.  

The healthier we are likely to come out of the trauma of our broken relationships. 

These new attachment enable and empower us to take new root and grow, whereas, if we fail to 'fill the gap or empty void.'  

Then it creates the conditions for prolonged misery, unhappiness, anger, sadness and likely lead to low sefl-esteem and destruction or self and/or others.

Yes, I have learnt that the implications of partners breaking up when they have children can be more traumatic and costly for all or most of the family and relatives. 

But I have also learnt that some or most of these issues can and have been managed reasonably by most or some of the people who experienced them and have succeeded in getting on with their lives.   

To be continued!